Living with an Alcoholic



Posted: Monday, November 10, 2008

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When you live with an alcoholic the situation can range from instability to physical abuse. At the least you will constantly be on edge because the alcoholic you live with is so unpredictable. You don't know what to expect. You don't know if the alcoholic will come home drunk or if he or she will come home at all. The one thing you do know is counting on an alcoholic is not a good idea. And living with an alcoholic is very taxing on the non-drinker because it is so all-consuming and stressful, and wears tremendously on your self esteem. If you live with an alcoholic for any length of time, chances are you don't have your own life anymore.

The person living with the alcoholic needs to understand that an alcoholic with a true addiction to alcohol is unable to stop drinking because of a physical and psychological addiction. This is very real and makes alcohol a formidable adversary. The alcohol is running the show, not the drinker and this is what normal people don't grasp. Alcoholism is chronic, meaning it never goes away. Even when an alcoholic stops drinking for good, it still lurks in the background somewhere. In spite of that, with help, many drinkers can successfully stop.

In A.A. literature there is a statement that people view the alcoholic with mingled pity and contempt. The assumption by normal people is that alcoholism is a moral deficiency or weakness of character. Closer to the truth is alcoholism is probably genetic, and combining genes with an environment that promotes alcohol, the resulting alcoholism is almost inevitable.

So here you are. You are living with an alcoholic. What are your options?

First, know the fact is that the percentage of alcoholics who recover without help is very low, probably in the single digits, and few can pull it off. In addition to that, it has been proven time after time that the alcoholic will be unable to stop drinking for you, his or her family or anyone else. They have to get help and they have to stop for themselves. Until they reach this point the drinking will continue.

If you elect to stick it out you can attend meetings for codependents in your area that exist to teach you how to stop covering for your alcoholic and how to distance yourself from your alcoholic's behavior and get on with your life.

So when will the drinker you live with stop drinking? Getting help is always the first step.

You can stop drinking now. Visit us at:

http://HowIStoppedDrinking.org

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